


Still Together

by atenaglory



Series: Diner Talks [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, a lil shakarian (again)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 09:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7263391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atenaglory/pseuds/atenaglory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard has been acting differently since Horizon, so Tali and Garrus go on an important mission to try to cheer her up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Together

Tali wasn’t there on Horizon. Shepard and the crew had picked her upon Haestrom some time afterwards. Just like Shepard to swoop in at the last minute and save the day. A living superhero.

Yet Tali could tell that things weren’t 100% with the commander. That was also so like her—to clean up all hostile units flawlessly without any concern to her own feelings. That trait was more worrying. Shepard had a tendency to deal with everything on her own. This was understandable, as Shepard had grown up on the streets, an orphan. Her decision to join the military had been a shrewd move to save herself from her fate on Earth, and she had excelled. Plus, she was a leader. Her followers couldn’t afford to see her falter. Maybe it was best for her to deal with everything on her own. But Tali still worried, and she was sure that Garrus did, too.

Back on the Normandy, Shepard had said she needed people like Tali, whom she could trust, and had implied that Cerberus wasn’t trustworthy. Although Tali had appreciated this solidarity, it struck her as odd that Shepard would say something like that in front of Jacob, a teammate. Even if Jacob was Cerberus, it wasn’t like Shepard to say something so antagonistic in front of a member of her team. She’d thought that maybe working with Cerberus was what had Shepard feeling low, and ventured to ask Shepard about it.

“No,” Shepard had said flatly. “Cerberus is still scum, but they give me resources and freedom. And they’ve given me the best team. They even let me get you, even though they know how you feel about them.”

It was true that Jacob had been the picture of cordiality in welcoming Tali, despite the hostility he had gotten in response. So Cerberus wasn’t the problem. Or, not the main problem. And knowing Shepard, she wasn’t going to break down and confide all of her problems in Tali any time soon. So Tali decided to get as close to the source as she could: Garrus. Tali had no idea which members of the Normandy SR-2 could be trusted, but Garrus was the same as ever. She assumed that Shepard had tried to get to know each new crew member, but that she’d held back information about herself, like she did with the old crew.

Tali was greeted warmly when she went up to the main battery to see Garrus.

“Tali! Glad to see a friendly face on the Normandy.”

“It’s been too long, Garrus. How have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Can’t complain.”

“Really? You can’t complain about your face being blown half off?”

“Well, we all have our struggles. But you look good. I didn’t get to ask about your new suit on Haestrom.”

“I got it when I completed my pilgrimage. But, speaking of new outfits or lack thereof, you honestly couldn’t get some new armor? _Keelah_.”

“What can I say? I’m attached to it. I’m assuming you didn’t come all the way up here just to criticize my appearance, though?”

“Oh, of course! I also came to ask how Shepard is doing.”

“’Also’?”

“Also. I mean come on, Garrus you could at _least_ get some armor that doesn’t have holes in it.”

“Alright, I get it. So is something wrong with Shepard?”

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Tali sighed, her tone becoming somber. “I tried to ask her, but you know how she is.”

“And you think she told _me_?”

“Well… I was hoping you’d have seen what happened. She takes you everywhere.”

Garrus thought for a moment.

“So I imagine you’ve heard about our visit to Horizon?”

“You all managed to stop the Collectors from emptying out another human colony.”

“That’s right. But what you might not have heard is how we had a reunion with none other than Kaidan Alenko while we were there.”

“And he told her how good it was to see her and apologized that he couldn’t join her?”

“If only, if only. He refused to believe anything she had to say because she’s with Cerberus. I guess everyone feels differently about ghosts.”

“Shepard is not a ghost,” Tali said firmly, her voice rising a little. She knew that Garrus didn’t really think that, but it was already hard enough trying to deal with her reappearance without comments like that.

“I know, Tali. Just… borrowing Kaidan’s words. Apologies.”

“It’s alright. Kaidan said that?”

Garrus nodded.

“ _Keelah_ , no wonder she’s upset. Go on.”

“Right, so needless to say, he was as shocked as anyone that she was back, and took personal offense to her agreement with Cerberus. And since then… Well, you know the commander. The only thing she said about it was ‘I’m sick of this colony,’ in that Shepard way, but since then it’s been irregular eating hours, not much time out of her cabin, extra shots into dead enemies.”

“It’s that bad?”

“Yeah. I’ve been worried but I’m kind of at a loss for what to do. She won’t really talk about it.”

Tali sighed. That was Shepard. She was clearly upset, but she wouldn’t confide in her friends. Although from her perspective, it was just that she couldn’t let her soldiers see her upset. She saw herself responsible for keeping each one of them grounded, after all. She saw herself as a commander first, and a person second. But Tali had an idea.

“Garrus, any idea when our next shore leave is? And is it possible that Wrex and Liara haven’t been huge _bosh’tet_ about Shepard’s return?”

Garrus laughed. “Well, Liara hasn’t. We’re supposed to make a trip to Tuchanka sometime soon, so we’ll see how Wrex is doing.”

“Here’s hoping he hasn’t changed. He was never one to get hung up on little things like coming back from the dead. Does Shepard still check up on everyone then run off on her own during shore leave?”

“Of course.” Shepard needed time to breathe, especially now that Cerberus had probably bugged her entire ship.

“Then I have a plan.”

 

The Normandy docked at the Citadel before heading to Tuchanka, and Tali and Garrus took this opportunity to discuss where it was that Shepard disappeared to during her down time. Although Garrus already had an idea of where she would be, and the plan was simply to follow her, Tali insisted that this was a _stealth_ mission and that Garrus would need to return to his days as a detective to be efficient. While Garrus thought Tali’s insistence on stealth was silly, he thought it was possible that Shepard had started going somewhere else after he’d intruded at the diner, and he decided that it couldn’t hurt to verify where she went. So after Shepard had come to check in with them, Garrus at a weapons store looking at sniper rifle upgrades and Tali browsing new omni-tools, they met up at the Citadel gift shop. The commander liked the gift shop’s supply of model ships (Tali wondered if she had always been this much of a nerd) and various fish, so they simply went there after a reasonable amount of time had passed and, after triple checking to make sure that the coast was clear, asked the clerk if he had seen Commander Shepard. Tali had insisted on disguises, and showed up with a hat over her hood and a coat on over her suit. Garrus refused to take her seriously, and pretended not to notice, even though she called him a traitor for not even trying to change his appearance, including his rocket-blasted armor.

After stifling their laughter at the genuine enthusiasm of Shepard’s “favorite store on the Citadel” ad, Tali and Garrus found out that Shepard had gone towards the shuttles. Using the same method (minus the giggling), they found out that she had taken a shuttle to Bachjret Ward not too long before, confirming Garrus’ suspicion. He reminded her that he knew where the commander was, and that there was no need to act as though they were “undercover,” and that she looked ridiculous in her disguise and was, in fact, standing out even more than usual. She pretended not to hear him, and said, far too enthusiastically, “To the shuttles!”

When they arrived, Garrus started to head towards the nearest underground passageway. Tali continued to pretend that they didn’t know where Shepard was, exclaiming, “Behold, the trained detective in action! He can read signs that normal people can’t, to find Shepard’s trail!”

It wasn’t long before they caught up with Shepard on the path, and they followed her from a distance. Shepard walked through the passageway as though she had done this many times, turning at some intersections without pausing, and pushing ever forward. After a while, she entered an elevator (prompting Tali and Garrus to hide behind a bench and a wall, respectively) and disappeared. After she was gone, they checked the elevator, and the only places it led to were a set of apartments and an Earth-style restaurant that happened to occupy the ground floor of the building. Before Garrus could say “I told you so,” Tali said dramatically, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the work of a true detective! His hunch from the beginning of the mission, that the commander would be visiting an Earth restaurant on Bachjret Ward, turned out to be 100% correct!” Having confirmed what Garrus already knew, they stealthily returned to the Normandy, passing by Citadel Souvenirs one more time to hear Shepard’s enthusiastic endorsement again.

 

“How was Tuchanka?” Some time had passed since their expedition to the Citadel. Mordin and Grunt had both requested a pit-stop to the Krogan DMZ, and Garrus had accompanied Shepard for both missions.

Garrus sighed and shook his head in response.

“That bad?”

“Well, she only lit one Krogan extremist on fire mid-sentence, so I’d call it a success,” Garrus said, clearly exhausted.

“ _Keelah_ …”

“The good news is that Wrex is still Wrex, and he’s gladly agreed to pitch in for the cause.”

“Well, that’s something at least.”

“Yeah. But Shepard was at breakfast this morning. She was quiet, but she was there. I think killing that thresher maw did her some good.”

“I heard things with Mordin were complicated.”

“’Complicated’. That’s a good word for it. Seems like he’s already over it, but I told her that it would mean a lot to me if she took some time to rest, so we should be headed for the Citadel now.”

The glow of Tali’s eyes behind her mask narrowed into crescents. “It would mean a lot to you, would it?”

“Shut up.”

 

Tali and Garrus met at Citadel Souvenirs again to make their plan of action. They had messages from Liara and Wrex, and they’d all pooled their money to get something nice for their commander. The idea was to surprise her, so when she dropped by, caught off guard at finding them at the gift shop, they told her that they were reminiscing on the good old days and trying to find something nice for Wrex and Liara, neither of whom had time to get off-planet these days. Shepard had given them a lackluster “Have fun,” before trotting off. A clear confirmation that she was still not herself.

After some time passed, they took the shuttle to Bachjret Ward and headed back to that restaurant. They discussed whether Shepard could be missing Earth while they walked to the diner, but couldn’t draw any conclusions, as she had never spoken about it.

“What about that time you found her here?”

“Ah, we didn’t really talk about why she came here.”

“What did you two share a milkshake while staring into each other’s eyes or something?”

“Ha ha,” he responded sarcastically, ignoring how impossible that would have been (even if it did sound kind of nice). “We… talked about music. She seemed stressed and I wanted to make sure she was alright. But it didn’t occur to me to ask her about the restaurant or anything. She couldn’t be coming here because she misses Earth, though, could she? I mean, she was an orphan. It doesn’t seem like the kind of past one gets nostalgic about.”

“She was all alone,” Tali said sadly.

“No wonder she doesn’t confide in anyone. She probably never has.”

“We have to let her know that we’re here for her, Garrus. That she’s not alone anymore, and that we need her.”

Garrus nodded silently, as they approached the elevator to the diner.

When they got there, Shepard was sitting across the room in a booth by herself, in the same spot Garrus had found her once before. The room was brightly lit, playing that carefree music that he had learned was from Earth’s distant past. He wondered if he would hear that song again.

Shepard was staring out the window, although she didn’t seem to be seeing anything. She didn’t notice them until they sat directly in front of her. She was _definitely_ not herself.

“Oh. You’re back, Garrus,” she said with a small smile, only glancing at them. “Hi, Tali.”

She didn’t even have her usual bag of goods with her.

Neither Tali nor Garrus knew what to say. They hadn’t expected her to be like this. She didn’t even mention their intrusion on her privacy, other than her greeting to Garrus. The situation must have been dire, indeed. Before either of them could say anything, Shepard turned to them, laid both hands on the table in front of her, and stared at her hands as she spoke.

“When I was a kid, I never ate at restaurants. I ate from the garbage, or whatever people tossed to me. When I got old enough, I got tired of being given food. I decided to take it. From anyone or anywhere. I beat up other kids, I joined gangs. But I still never got into a real restaurant. Nothing more than dirty fast food places with no place to sit.

“There was a place like this, on one of the streets that I haunted. It was supposed to be styled like the diners from the 20th century. Back when humans had barely gotten one finger into space. I loved looking at it. The bright colors, the happy-sounding music. It felt like I was seeing a happiness that I could never experience for myself. When I joined the Alliance, I promised myself that I would go back to Earth when I could and eat just once at that restaurant.

“Then I found this place. Just like the one back on Earth. Same music, too. I told myself that I would stop here for a meal after we beat Saren. But I died, instead.”

She paused, still staring at her hands, and took a deep breath. Then she continued.

“The fact that something so insignificant is still a part of my memory pretty much proves that I’m Commander Shepard. I doubt Cerberus would care enough to program that kind of memory if I was just an advanced VI that thought I was Commander Shepard. Probably. But what if Kaidan was right? And I’m a ghost? A Cerberus puppet?”

“You’re not,” Garrus said almost angrily, finding his words. Tali took one of Shepard’s hands. Shepard finally looked up at them.

“Shepard,” Tali began gently. “Your memory is proof. But if you can’t trust your memory, trust _us_.”

Garrus laid his hand on the table, offering it to Shepard.

“But how can you trust me?” Shepard’s voice was quiet, her eyes searching and vulnerable.

“We know you, Shepard. We were there before Cerberus rebuilt you, and we’re here now.” He couldn’t help but adding, “And it doesn’t matter what Kaidan thinks. Four out of five, or six out of seven of us, if you include Joker and Dr. Chakwas, trust that you are you, no matter what Cerberus has to do with it. Anyone who can’t see that is an idiot.”

Shepard looked down at his hand, and hesitantly placed hers in his. Both Garrus and Tali squeezed Shepard’s hands, reminding her that the three of them were really there together, and that they always would be.

Tali gave Shepard’s hand one more squeeze before reaching down to the gift bag that was on the seat, and placing it on the table in front of Shepard.

“We got you something,” Tali said softly, a smile in her voice.

Shepard looked at the bag for a moment before, slowly withdrawing her hand from Garrus’, she removed the contents. Inside was a limited edition model of the Normandy SR-1. Shepard gasped and looked up at them, eyes brighter than they’d seen in some time.

“This…! This is the one with the VI voice from the original Normandy! Do you know how expensive this is?!”

“Oh, we know,” Garrus chuckled. “By the way, Wrex said that he hopes you enjoy it and that you are, indeed, an unmatched Battlemaster. Liara says she misses you, and that she checks up on you every chance she gets.”

Shepard beamed at them. A real smile, not her playful smirk or her polite hero-smile. Once again, Garrus felt as though he had seen something absolutely magical while visiting Shepard at this diner. Tali shared that feeling.

“Thank you guys,” Shepard said, still smiling. “I’m glad you’re with me.”

And that was all they needed to hear. Shepard, Tali, and Garrus would be out there fighting together, as long as Shepard had a cause to stand for.

**Author's Note:**

> I love this trio and I want them to be a trio together more. Also I love the idea of Tali being silly, as well as Tali teasing Garrus about his crush on Shepard.


End file.
